And the issue is?………

You know what’s sad? When we as a nation have to use a court to decide whether two people who love each other are allowed to marry. The U.S. Supreme Court is hearing arguments on whether same sex marriages should be allowed.

My views on same sex marriage have changed over the years. In high school… I was almost punched in the face when I stated that gay people should not be allowed to marry. Yet I am thankful for that almost punch. It made me open my eyes to realize the world around me is much bigger than what the church I belonged to and my mom had raised me to believe. You see Sunday after Sunday I was taught for two men to lay with each other was wrong. My mom preached it at home too. Yet since that almost  punch I have come to realize and ask my self the question what makes  hetero sexual preference better and more “right/normal” than some one who has a homosexual preference? I mean we both didn’t have a choice with what preference we were born with. I am pretty sure with all of the crap that anyone who wants to be with the same sex has had to put up with they didn’t “choose” to be gay.

Yet I have come to realize I have been born into the world of heterosexual privilege. What does this privilege consist of? Let me start a list:

  • My marriage did not need a majority vote in order for it to be legal
  • I and my husband can adopt a child with no problem
  • I can receive any benefit of my husbands whether is health care, death benifits

Those are just a few.

I still am trying to figure out though why anyone would protest anyone elses marriage. Oh wait here are some not so valid reasons

My religion says so and so

I have always tried to figure out why people thin their religion so decide other peoples lives. Like it says it your religion what you follow why enforce it on others? I mean does the gay couple down the street who suddenly get married ruin you or your religion? I mean as soon as they get married does you religious text suddenly have a magically appearing void sticker on it? Just wondering

What will I tell my kids?!!

You would tell them the truth duh. I seriously doubt that a child’s world will come crashing down when you explain to them that Tim and Tom love each other so they got married.

Gay people getting married ruins the sacred part of marriage

50 percent of marriages end in divorce. Along with cheating, pre marital sex, etc. I mean have you seen some of the confessions on Facebook mommy pages?!!!

If we allow gay marriage to happen then it will lead to people marrying dogs

Yes I have seen and heard this said. To those people you first should probably be checked out mentally because only you are thinking about any marriage to any animal. Second go back and get under the rock you are living under and never come out. By saying this you are comparing humans to dogs and to that f you. Yes I said it.

gaymarriage

 

What I am trying to say there is no valid reason. Yet I know the moment this blog post and friends read it I will loose some friends. A message to those friends …. obviously our friendship wasn’t that important so have a great life and don’t let the virtual door kick you in the A@$.

At the end of the day I am happy for that almost punch. I am still friends with that awesome girl today.

“In this country as children, we learn that there’s a founding principle, that all men and women are created equal. … Unfortunately with the passage of Proposition 8, we learned that there are group of people in California who are not being treated equally.” Kris Perry, a plaintiff in the Prop 8 case.

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Who’s your Doula?

 

^^^That person is me!!

 

What is a doula?

Doula–  A kick ass women!!

……..And the proper definition…

Doula– Derived from the Greek word “doule”  meaning “woman who serves”.  She is the support woman for a mother in labor.

I with my whole heart believe EVERYBODY deserves a doula in the birth process. They are good for Everybody involved.

Now how did I come to this conclusion? Let me explain.

When I first was pregnant with Cadden the researcher in me decided to go find everything that had to do with being pregnant, giving birth and everything in between. I drove my husband crazy being online ( I still do). Well one day I came across the Child birth Collective in a random pregnancy Google search. While checking out the website I found they offered FREE classes!   I am pretty sure I was more excited about the free part than the classes themselves. Well I talk my husband into going and off we went…… Well we get there and it was held a yoga place. I saw women on exercise balls on the floor etc along with their husbands who all looked like ” why the heck did I agree to come to this?’ Well all of these women were showing pregnant. I was maybe 10 weeks and was slightly embarrassed that I deiced to go to a class so early in pregnancy ( I then learned its never to early to learn about pregnancy or the birthing process).  Well this lady introduced herself saying she was a doula. I had never heard of a doula and at that moment I pictured birth being something out of ‘Dances with Wolves’, in which there is a scene and the lady is squatting down in the forest pushing a baby out with a stick in her mouth. Well she explained who she was and what she did I thought ” oh this is pretty cool”. Then like anytime I find something pretty cool she mentioned money. At that moment I put the idea in a little suit case in my mind and packed it away. We did not have 500 bucks to spend on a doula ( I also noticed when money was mentioned Chad had his head down and wouldn’t look up. I don’t know if this was because of the money or the fact the doula had start nursing in front of the class). Fast forward

We had an awesome nurse who acted as a doula and I had the birth I wanted……. Kind of.  Well I then found out I was pregnant with Lyam. I went along in my pregnancy hadn’t thought about having a doula until my friend Mrs S mentioned she was in the process of becoming one. I jumped at the opportunity. Well I mentioned this to my hubby who lets say at the time was not happy about it. We one night had argued about it and he said ” Well you and your doula can go have the baby without me and I will sit here and watch t.v.” Turns out he thought our doula would take his place.  Turns out he loves her and can sit down and explain why everyone needs a doula. In his world she was very Kick ass.

Why our doula was kick ass

  • When into pre-term labor she was there at the hospital
  • Explained why Chad should catch baby (this created a bond between Chad and Lyam that will never go away)
  • Came over when I thought I was in labor and walked around the block
  • Listened to my whines
  • To get labor going she lounged up the hill out side of her house with me and walked around the neighborhood all day. ( I went into labor later that night)
  • Let me grab onto her neck even though it hurt her when trying to push
  • Came over after L was born to give nursing tips
  • She also gets kick ass points for just being a doula.

As you can tell I really loved my doula… It also helps that we are friends.

Yet have a doula offers more benefits some that I never thought of

Benefits of a Doula

  • Decreases the need of a c section by 50 %
  • Can mean shorter labors for mom
  • fewer interventions
  • mom has greater success in breastfeeding
  • Chances of epidural goes down

 

Now………Where the heck do you find a doula???

Ask around. Birth centers usually know someone, even some doctors offices ( side note if you want a doula and your doctor laughs at you…. maybe find a new doula friendly doctor… or go with that doctor and let them see the benefits them selves). There are many websites that will help you find a doula too ( will list at the end)

Last thoughts

Doulas are really awesome women. Having a Doula at your birth may seem like the latest hot trend, yet I promise its not. Women have been supporting women throughout their pregnancies and labors since we have been on this earth. Oh and yes if you do have a C – section yes I still recommend having a doula present. My doula will always be a part of my life in some way whether its being friends or her being present in the stories I tell my son of his birth. Though I truly love my husband there is something about the emotional support that another woman can provide another who is bringing a life into the world. I truly believe their is a bond made during that time that can never be broken. March 22nd- 28th, 2013 is World Doula Week. If you have had a doula remember to give her another thanks. Remember to let her know she is kick ass. I mean to get up at midnight and be calm during a birth is a secret talent of a doula.

 

Mrs S….. Thank you!!! You are a kick ass women!

0917121132

 

More reading

http://americanpregnancy.org/labornbirth/havingadoula.html

http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/114/Supplement_6/1488.full

http://www.health.umn.edu/healthtalk/2013/02/14/doula-care-for-low-income-women-could-save-taxpayers-money/

Find a doula

http://americanpregnancy.org/members/doulas

http://www.dona.org/mothers/find_a_doula.php

 

 

 

Yes I am that crazy babywearer… A label I love!!!!

So you know that friend you have that has that is very passionate about a certain topic and never shuts up about it? They go on and on and on about it and you are just thinking shut up! The way they go on about it you would think it was the cure to every aliment out there. Well I am that passionate annoying friend when it comes to ……… Babywearing!!!

 Yes I am this lady!
Yes I am this lady!

I am in love with baby wearing ( screaming this from the tallest mountain) !!! It is literally my cure to everything. Teething or sick baby/child .. wear them! Newborn who wont let you put them down for one min because they are getting use to this new world around them….wear them! Need to get things done yet your toddler comes right behind you and messes them up...wear them! Child breaks their arm… Wear them!!!! Ok, ok, ok …. if your child breaks an arm please bring them to the hospital first, get it fixed, and then Wear them!!!! Babies worn cry on average 43% less than babies who aren’t.

Now you probably have figured out what babywearing is its literally wearing your child or baby. It has been around for thousands of years so ignore anyone that says “oh babywearing is a new trend”

ancient-baby-wearing                            

So how did I come to wear my child? Well it started like this…….. C my oldest hit 3 months and suddenly he wouldn’t sleep most of the day like a newborn does. He would stay awake and he wanted me. Which meant nothing ever got done around the house. I did try one time to put him in the kitchen sink so I could wash dishes… lets say that didn’t go so well. So my husband Chad knowing how I was going crazy and he was going crazy came home with the common carrier you see many parents using. It worked for awhile. I was all “Hey it is working, I can wash the dishes.!” Until my back started hurting all the time and my shoulders were sore. So knowing there had to be something better out there I researched and found the carrier I had was a crotch dangler. Whats makes those carriers crotch danglers? Because they literally hold baby by the crotch. This is not the ideal way for baby to be carrier.

crtchdangler

Reasons why crotch danglers are not ideal:

  • No support for baby’s legs
  • Places baby in a hollow back position – which puts pressure on the spine and a lot of pressure on the groin.
  • Doesn’t support head
  • Hurts your back
  • Forward facing can overstimulate a baby, and baby can’t turn to caregiver for comfort

So will a dangler kill you baby no.. yet they aren’t ideal. After I found this out I ditched my dangler for a Moby. My back and C’s crotch thanked me.

C in my moby
C in my moby

So you now are probably thinking ” This is all interesting but what the heck is a moby?… what other carriers are there ?” Well with the help of some awesome mama friends let me explain.

Wraps

ashley c    christina o       tigra

They are the most customizable carrier out there. They fit every body shape and size. Along with coming in some awesome prints. You have two kinds of wraps. Jersey knit cotton which have a stretch to them awesome for newborns. These you CANNOT do a back carry. They stretch way too much and cause problems. A woven wrap is you wrap to go to for back carry’s. These if you don’t want to spend a pretty dime on, you can make one at home.

Mei Tai

melissa b hubby303044_10150332163528026_2091873814_n 308716_10150336849788026_2039535228_n

This carrier is Asian inspired. Front or back carry. Does work with most shapes and sizes. I know moms who love them and I know moms who hate them.

Ring Sling

Kelcyfamily2amber p

My FAVORITE hands down carrier of all time!!! Great for itty bitty newborns and grows with them! I have seen some that I just drool over because they are so beautiful. I know some moms who say they love them but not for long wearing periods, due to the one sided shoulder. Very customizable.

Soft structure Carrier

heidi sBethanyambers hubby

If you just want something that is safe and not complicated a soft structure is the way to go! Super daddy friendly ( though I do know some dads who wear wraps). You can pair this carrier with another carrier at the same time and wear two babies!

autumn  me  christina o1

Closing arguments

Did I mention the benefits of wearing your baby?! here are a few

  • You can go places without having to haul or push a stroller.
  • An up right position with tummy in can help relieve tummy discomforts. ( L usually poops when I wear him)
  • Helps create an emotional safety net
  • Learn baby’s cues
  • Hands free Nursing
  • Baby experiences the world around them
  • When you aren’t wearing baby you wraps can double as other things
hanging out
Hammock!!!

Last Note

Now you are interested and yet you don’t want to dish out money to try a carrier yet not like it. What do you do? Well if you live in the Twin Cities area All things Diapers has every one of the carriers I mentioned in the store that you can try on plus a rental program. Cant make it there or don’t live in the Twin Cities area? Try joining area babywearing groups.. there are plenty on Facebook. Try cloth diapering or natural parenting groups many of these parents baby wear. If all fails contact me I will find you help!! Yet remember to have fun! Happy Baby wearing!!

Last Last note

I forgot to mention activities one shouldn’t do while babywearing …. theses include .. babywearing doe not take the place of a car seat in a car. Don’t handle super hot liquids while wearing baby or knives. If you have doubts don’t do it.

spider
Even spiders babywear!!!!!!

Hospitals, Nudity and Jars

So I did say my next post was suppose to be all about baby wearing. I promise  my next one will be everything baby wearing I promise!!!

Hospital

So why the hold? My mom had a recent hospital trip and stay. Or as she calls it a “hospitalcation”. How did this begin? We I first thought my mom was suffering from memory loss or dementia. She would forget her purse here or not remember the last conversation we had. Yet we ( my family) found out it was wayyyyy more than that. The story goes:

I get a call from my brother at 3 am saying my mom wasn’t home the car was at the house but my mom was no where to be found. I panicked called the police filed a missing persons report ( hardest thing I ever had to do and never want to do it again!). Where was she? She had fallen out her car at a local restaurant and a passerby found her and called an ambulance. She was at the hospital till 3:30 am and they released her saying she had arthritis and gave her a Tylenol, even though she couldn’t walk. Well fast forward and talking to some awesome friends my aunt and I brought her to another hospital who took one look at her and said “we will keep her”.  They figured she suffered a stroke. Then did an MRI… she has a mass on her brain which has swollen and was causing the memory problems and strokes.

She stayed in the hospital for about 4 days. This is when I am grateful for awesome nurses. My mom was considered a fall risk and as stubborn as she is would not ask the nurses for help walking. sigh….. I am sure the nurses had small heart attacks when they heard her moving about in her room. Well she is home now with a 24 hour nurse which she hates with surgery for next week. So yes it been crazy. Thanks to awesome moms and their kids.. my mom is receiving awesome get well artwork. Which she is really loving.

baby wearing at the hospital
baby wearing at the hospital

Nudity

So I love fb… I love the groups, people and the drama. Yet this past week some random person who I apparently pissed off decided to report a picture shutting down my page till I agreed to Facebook deleting it. So what was the picture? Well it was one reported as ” Child nudity”. When I noticed my page was shut down I called my friend L in a panic. She guessed it was a breastfeeding photo. Yet it wasn’t. here is that nudity photo:

Cloth diapered Baby!!!!
Cloth diapered Baby!!!!

I know ridiculous right? I was pissed!! I also was scared that the police would show up to my door. Not that I have anything to hide, just the thought of police showing up to my door scares the crap out of me. Though one day my Husband swears it will happen ( I also have some friends who agree with him). I have some major defriending to do one day soon.

Jars

Not super exciting but we have switched from plastic cups in our house hold to mason jars to drink out of. I am super excited about this. I ate a lot of pasta with sauce to build my collection. I am trying to become as green as possible. My husband was on board with the idea. Though my idea when mentioned to my mom disturbed her enough that she went out and bought us a “proper glass set” for a Christmas gift.

someone loves the mason jars
someone loves the mason jars

Last note

This is for the pest control company that came into the apartment building spraying chemicals. It would have been nice if you would have given a warning of some kind saying ” Hey we will be spraying crap in the building that we have to wear mask to handle”. I am still highly irritated. Expected a angry worded letter on your Fb page.

Yes I took pictures
Yes I took pictures

Poop, Pope, Play

A POPE HAS BEEN FOUND A POPE HAS BEEN FOUND!!!!!!!!

Yes that is my most exciting news at the moment, and yes it is really exciting! He is Argentinian, 76 years old and has picked the name Francis.  If he was 50 years younger I may at one time would have been able to say he was probably cute. He is the first Latin American pope to be elected. Though I think I would have been way better for the job maybe it was best he was elected for it only time will tell.

 

pope

 

Play

So since Saturday C has been around other kiddos his age. Well how I would love to say “oh he plays so well” and “uses his manners” well the kid doesn’t.   So Saturday he hit one of my favorite Hippie moms ( she is pretty awesome I have a mom crush on her) little guy in the head with a toy spatula. Maybe I tell myself he was trying to figure out the speed comparison to the what sound is made. Yet either way hitting is hitting. Then we had a play date with mom Y today and little Y who is adorable…. Well C hit and snatched and pulled.  Granted he didn’t nap yet come on child!!!!! Lets say I felt very embarrassed and worried that mom Y would hate me. Yes I cared I like this mom. She assured me all is well after a freak out text from me.  Yet someone answer the question of life for me… HOW DO YOU GET THE HITTING TO STOP????

Whoever answers that for me and the idea actually works I will send you a thank you card and a gift card to your favorite store ( 5 bucks… yes I know I am cheap)….

 

See he can be sweet!!
See he can be sweet!!

^^^^please ignore the messy background

 

POOP

So whats up with the poop? I learned today that if you do the thermometer trick expect to get pooped on in the next few mins if you don’t put a dipe on!! It was horrid. Then if there is blood in the poo don’t freak out even more making baby cry. Not saying this was me.

the pooped out one
the pooped out one

Well until next time……

 

Preview of my next post.... Yes I am this lady!
Preview of my next post…. Yes I am this lady!