My first Cadden… I was induced at 41 weeks and delivered him in about 5 to 6 hours after my water breaking with 3 pushes no epidural at a hospital.
My Second- Water broke 2 days after my guess date after walking up a hill all day thanks to my doula. Labored in the water about 4 hours at a birth center with my midwives and husband. My husband caught our child and again no epidural.
And because of this my two births are better than yours and if you used and epidural or had a c section you have ruined your kids for life……..
At this moment you probably want to slap the living crap out of me. I want to slap myself for even writing that.
Yet… I have seen things like this written on the internet on forums. Here are some examples:
MOM1: Baby is breech so having a c-section
Crazy mom 1: Don’t listen to the doctor listen to your body … You know c sections are horrible and a breech baby is not a reason for one!
Crazy mom 2: You know you could “forget” to go in for the c-section and do an unassisted birth
Crazy mom 3: I know a mom who died during a c section.
I have actually seen this written and none of these answers help the mom nor put her at ease. Yes you can have a vaginal breech birth its very possible yet non of these responses portray that and by the time it comes up in the thread the mom – to – be has shut down and doesn’t want to hear anything else.
I would love to sit here and say I have never been any of the crazy moms who have responded … yet I cannot I am guilty of crazy mom responses. Yet one day I was responding to a thread an received a pm. The mom to pm’ed asked me straight out ” Do you hate moms who have c sections?” That question hit me in the face like a ton of bricks. I never at that moment hated any way of giving birth so why would someone even ask me? It was the way I delivered my message. The way it came across to other moms.
It never occurred to me that my passion for having a very informed birth was actually putting moms off. It made it seemed like I was only for a vaginal birth extra points if you went without an epidural. When in all reality I am for all births. Whether they be c section, vaginal, water birth, bed birth, lotus birth, hands and knees birth, any birth in which a baby is born is a birth I am for. Yet what ever way baby is born I want mama and dad to be informed walking in and have the support of their doctors and nurses.
Very good point brought up by Erin a friend
“I always wonder who gets to decide when a mom is “informed” enough? As a C-Section mom, I always get told that I would have made different/ better decisions had I been more informed. But I was very well informed (not to mention completely happy with my decisions). It always seems like if someone makes a different choice, she is labeled “uninformed”. How is anyone really uninformed these days?”
There are no informed police walking around yet
My Personal Informed meaning- knowing the side effects of certain procedures and medicines. Knowing you can question your doctor or midwife. Research!! Even if all you may want to go in and do is have a baby. Being informed may not be the final solution to healthier moms and babies but it is a start in the right direction!
Another thought while I am at this … I AM TIRED OF THE BIRTHING COMPETITION BETWEEN MOMS!!!!!!!!
If you don’t know what a birthing competition is here is one I see all the time
Mom1: Gave birth to Joe who was 7 pounds … hard work but worth it. Loving mommy-hood!
Mom2: Congrats but hard work is giving birth to a 9 pounder
mom3: My friend have birth naturally to a 11 pounder baby no meds!!
Before you know it someones moms friends dogs owner is giving birth to a 20 pound baby with no meds out in the woods somewhere and then made an awesome tasting placenta soup.
As women we need to uplift each other. Help support the mothers having a hard time. Laugh with the ones who want to laugh and stop the judging, stop the competition stop the harsh words.
Lets help improve all births!