My faith lies in my heart not my hijab.

 

So I usually don’t publicly talk religion. Yet there is a question that is coming up time and time again recently… “Where’s your hijab (scarf)If you know me in life you know I rarely eft home with out my scarf or hat on my head. That I was very strict about making sure I had a scarf on. Yet I will finally come out with it… I was living a lie. No I wasn’t lying about being Muslim. I was lying about my reason for wearing my scarf.

You see when I first converted it took me some time to get use to wearing my scarf… Yet I was excited. I felt as if yes I am obey God in his eyes. Yet up until about a year ago I became very unhappy. I don’t know where to pin point it but I do know my intentions where not in the right place. My intentions turned into I am wearing this to fit in.. so I am not questioned by others on why I am not wearing it. I finally decided to take my hijab off about a month ago.. I can say I have never been happier.. I feel as if a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders and I can be my fun whacky self. By me saying that doesn’t mean I will never put my scarf on ever again perhaps there will be a day I will.

Yet since my descarfing  I am been receiving messages on Facebook and emails asking how are you Muslim yet don’t wear your scarf? One person went as far as sending my verses about why I need to put it back on ( what angered me were not the verses but the fact as a guy I feel you have no right what to tell a woman to wear). I want to just say this once… MY FAITH ISN’T TIED UP IN MY SCARF ITS LIES IN MY HEART!!

It baffles me on how people think that a simple piece of fabric determines who you are faith wise. My faith nor morals lefts when my scarf did. I hope to teach my sons that when you look at a person look at whats in their heart not whats on their head.

Also as a side note I think my puffy hair fits me at the moment. Just saying.

The diaper that changed my life

If you know me You know I love cloth diapers ( more of an obsession but whatever same thing). If you don’t know me I am letting you know I love cloth diapers. Along with being very passionate about informed birth choices, babywearing, co-sleeping and gentle parenting. Yet would you believe me if I said that the passion for the topics listed would have never been if it wasn’t for my first cloth diaper? Yes cloth diapering introduced me to the world of birth, babywearing and more.

You see when Cadden was about three months we hit the point of either we pay for the car or we buy diapers for the baby. I told my husband that we could do without the diapers and just put him on the toilet ( I later learned this was elimination communication). My husband was not for that so off for answers I went. I typed in the Google search bar how to save money on diapers and up popped the world of cloth diapering!

Caddens first ever cloth diaper... yeah didn't realize a cover was needed and yes pins were used.
Caddens first ever cloth diaper… yeah didn’t realize a cover was needed and yes pins were used.

I never turned back ( OK we use a sposie here and there). At the moment my obsession is with G  diapers ( No they didn’t pay me to say that).

536317_10100348869405318_321399276_n 100MEDIA95IMAG0067 0721121717d <<<<Caddens Journey with Cloth

 

1019122018a IMG_20130127_232609 1221121650e<<<<<<< Lyams Journey in cloth

Yes I proudly take pictures of my kids butts.

So how did cloth diapering make everything else roll into place?

Well when I first started cloth diapering I joined a open cloth diapering group here I met my now friend Leticia who made Cadden his first set of diapers. They were so damn cute. Well meeting her led me to the Minnesota cloth diapering group that I now admin with her and two other great ladies. Here I was introduced to the idea that you can give birth outside the hospital. I was introduced to what a doula is and their role… I actually met my doula who is also now a friend from this group. Without this knowledge I would have never had my youngest at a birthing center. I would have never met the awesome midwives who attended his birth. My husband would have never became such a huge supporter of births in birth centers and the use of doulas ( we are still working on a home-birth).

If cloth never showed up in that Google search the moms who gave donor milk to my oldest would have never existed in my life. The words yes its OK to sleep with your baby ( that baby is now two years old and still in our bed along with his 8 month old brother) would have never been read as I sat sleep deprived begging for help. My first “proper” baby carrier which was a ring sling made by a great mom wouldn’t exist well with me anyway. Maybe the fabric would have sat there waiting to be turned into the sanity saving carrier for another mom who couldn’t get anything done due to her baby wanting to be held 24/7.

As for breastfeeding… I would have never had the much-needed advice of moms who had been through the struggles I was facing trying to feed my first. Nor would they be the great support I have now with my second ( 8 months strong). I would not be completing the training I need to do to become a Certified Lactation Educator.

You see it might seem a little crazy to others for me to say this… Yet I would not be the crazy babywearing, pro breastfeeding, informed birth choicer, cloth diaper hoarder I am today if it was for the search on Google that landed my 3 month old in a cheaper gerber prefold with safety pins on the side.

yes I have a problem ... Cloth diaper rehab anyone?
yes I have a problem … Cloth diaper rehab anyone?

Remembering and Celebrating- Memorial Day

As Memorial Day comes to an end. I hope we all stopped and thought about the real meaning of today. Yes the grilling is fun as is connecting with family and friends, yet memorial day isn’t just about having a random three-day weekend.  Today was about honoring the ones who have lost their lives fighting for our country, along with thanking the ones who are still with us. So what did we do to honor today? We had a moment of silence as we listened to TAPS. So I would like to think that my children and even my husband for that matter were silent, but no they weren’t.

I found an awesome version of TAPS on YouTube and informed my husband we will be having a moment of silence to remember the fallen. He was totally on board with this seeing he grew up going to the graveyard every Memorial Day to place flowers on graves.  Yet Cadden and Lyam….. I am pretty sure conspired with each other at some point to make as much noise as possible. In fact I’m convinced it was a contest. I turned on the video and Lyam decided he needed to fill the diaper I just put on him five mins ago, then on top of that laugh about it. Oh and Cadden…. first let me start… Cadden has enough energy for about five boys his age sometimes more. He is his own kid and there have been days I have just wanted to hide from him. Well Cadden decided that the cat needed a bath… in the toilet. *Sigh* So basically I spent my time consoling a cat and telling Cadden to please be nice to the animals ( in which he laughed this evil laugh. By evil I mean there was vibration in his laugh). So basically a fail on the moment of silence.

Now on to celebrating…We have family ( My brother-in-law a veteran), and friends over. Like always we had a great time! That can only be explained in pictures.

My Ice tea.. Which after the crazy morning I seriously considered making it mommy's special juice
My Ice tea.. Which after the crazy morning I seriously considered making it mommy’s special juice

 

My awesome husband grilling

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Mommy and son and of course whats a day with out babywearing?!

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Then friends joined in…..

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Caddens Friend Luci!

 

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Jen, Tim, Leticia, Luci, Jodie and John

 

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As you can tell we had a pretty awesome day filled with plenty of laughs, food, and more laughs. Along with convincing husbands why their wives NEED more carriers, and at one point had  six kids, two dogs and, three husband running around loose.  I am thankful for moments like this. I am thankful this country has men and women who are willing to put their lives on the line for this country, so we can continue to have great moments like this. We had a great fun-filled day and hope you did too!

Happy Memorial Day!

Ticks, Tighteners, Rain and more!

Oh what a week it has been! I am pretty sure I wanted to run and hide from my kids… From teething to sugar highs. So the beginning of this week I woke up with the attitude  ” my kids could poop on me and I would still be happy!”  Yet apparently mother nature decided she could care less and was going to rain on my parade literally. Went to take the kids and the dog on a walk. I swear when we started out it was sunny then out of no where it started rain cats and dogs. I am pretty sure many of the people passing by felt bad for me, though I don’t doubt there were some laughs. Picture a mom walking down the street with baby strapped on her back, dog who apparently is afraid of rain and a toddler who wants to jump in every puddle. Though I have to admit it was maybe just a little fun.

       

Oh and more about our dog. I wasn’t a huge fan of her this week. How can you be a huge fan of a dog that has penny size ticks on her? Yes the first tick I found I had touched then realized it was a blood filled tick. lets say I didn’t handle it like a sane woman but may have gone a bit crazy. Well when I thought it all was over I had friends over and I nice penny size tick fell of the dog right where the kids were playing. The dog tried to eat it. I flipped out and My friend ended up bring it to its death by burning it in our good glass. I just thinking about this feel like creepy crawly’s are crawling all over me.

Oh Cadden … So what do you get when you leave a magic marker out, a laminate floor and a toddler who thinks his work is Picasso ?

THIS!!!>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Yes for a min I was looking at him as he was doing this thinking oh look he is quiet… then I smelled the marker. I panicked and turned to Facebook for answers. After 5 coats of goo gone and a magic eraser ……

THANK GOD!!

 

Now on to tighteners …. So I love it when I get new followers on Facebook but this follow kind of caught me by surprised. So open my email and see a notice saying Tightzenz is following you. Yeah click to see who this is and it’s a vaginal tightener I kid you not! I don’t know what they know but I am pretty sure I don’t need one. I am guessing they are looking for moms who have had vaginal births as a market to focus on. So if you do need one I am sure Google will be your friend in finding the product… oh and you do get free shipping.  If you do order it I hope all goes well. Something about sticking an item that looks like an eraser in your hoo haa doesn’t seem like it will help in tightening up things down there. I suggest save your money and do some squats and kegals.

After all the craziness that happened this week, ending it at a friend’s house with a bonfire in the middle of now where seemed relaxing. Actually it was very relaxing and fun. This city girl hunted for salamanders with a 6-year-old, almost set someone on fire by thinking if you marshmallow is on fire you swing it around (bad idea), and yelling for the dog 500 times. Yet it was very relaxing.

Oh the non parents and their complaints.

This morning I was listening to a popular radio personality in the area. I don’t know why I continue to listen to this show seeing that they have banned me from every one of their Facebook pages (Don’t ask long story but it did result into a few non parent friends calling me asking why they had pictures of moms breastfeeding in their news feeds .. well why it was more than usual). Well anyway they had a segment called non parents what annoys you about parents. Why I was even up before 10 am puzzles me must have been the work of the lets piss you off gods who were thinking ” Iola wake up this is really going to tick you off!” Oh and yes it did.

Complaints I heard.

“Your child should not be at Walmart at 2 am in the morning!”

So what do you suggest? Do I just leave them at home? You know maybe I should, the cats and dog would be great baby sitters. Just tie a warm thing of breast milk to Bella our cat since she has more of the maternal instinct and Lyam will be set. Oh and explain to Cadden while I am gone to not decorate the walls or floors, hurt your brother, or burn the place down. I am guilty of bringing my kids out to shop at that time usually because it’s an emergency. Last time I sent my husband out at that time.. the local Rainbow thought he did naughty things at 2 am in the morning. Why else does a grown man walk in the store with pj’s on asking for Vaseline?

“When moms pull out their boob to breast feed in public or in front of her bf/husbands friends without covering up..I don’t wanna see your nipples…”

Really? are you kidding me this is still a complaint? Solution: either but a bag over your head or don’t look. pick one and enjoy. Oh and as a stranger why are you paying so much attention to other strangers to know who the mom is with?

At the park, calm yourself! Your kid is not a genius because they can slide or run. I don’t want to hear your annoying obnoxious voice all the way across the park “OMG YOU ARE SOOOOOO FAST!” “I CAN’T BELIEVE HOW GOOD YOU ARE AT SLIDING! LIKE A SUPERHERO!!!” “YAY!!!” Shut up! I can tell you don’t spend much time with your kid or you’re mean to them at home. Stop trying to prove to the world that you’re the best parent ever, you look and sound stupid.”

Thank you! I accept this as permission to now ignore my kid and sit on my phone and play Candy crush. Wait why are you at the park but you have no kids? Creeper! It’s called praising your child. You know the thing you do when you aren’t sitting on the bench ignoring them. Oh and when I am screaming ” omg you are soo fast” It’s probably because my child just took off and is running away from the play ground for some greener grass… and I am jogging trying to make sure the child I am wearing does bounce out the carrier.

“Stay at home moms watch your child and stay off of Facebook.”

When I read this on the Radio stations Facebook page I wanted to reply so bad… but couldn’t because I am banned. Facebook has probably saved my life and my kids lives on many occasions. If I didn’t have FB I would probably be some wreck curled up into a ball somewhere. Look my friends are on Facebook. Some of them I have never met and they make me laugh so I don’t become some nut job. What do I do when my oldest draws on the floor with a magic marker? I turn to fb to vent so I don’t hang him by his ankles. What do I do when my husband acts like a complete idiot? Facebook! So I don’t end up poisoning him at his next dinner. Moms need Facebook to stay sane.

“When they use those child leashes. Really?”

I have a leash for my child… I have yet to use it seeing my luck some over-confident ish would come up and tell me how wrong I am. Leashes when used right save kids lives. When You have three kids and they are running all over the place believe me you either wear two of them or you use a leash.

oh and my favorite because I do it all the time….

“Stop talking about your breast milk. I don’t want to know about the color, taste or how its feeding your child”

I first laughed, then I got really silent because the person sounded like a friend of mine on the radio. I am pretty sure it was a friend of mine and to that friend. I will talk about my milk when ever the heck I want to. I will talk about it during dinner, while texting you, to strangers on the street.  Its milk

Even though these rants did get under my skin… the best revenge for these people … is waiting till they have kids. Now off to go back to bed to snuggle with my snuggle bugs.

 

Nothing is rude about feeding your child

I am sharing a post I did on Facebook awhile ago. It was part if a online nurse in due to Facebook deleting pictures of nursing moms. I debated the whole week of whether to take part.
I have debated all week whether to take part in the Facebook nurse in by posting a picture of me nursing. When debating whether to do it I mentioned it to some friends. Some thought it would be awesome others not so much. The comment that hit me was from a friend who is Muslim and she said “why would you do that you are suppose to be modest no one wants to see that.” It hit me because as a Muslim I have come to find out Islam has much to say about breastfeeding. A child has a right to breastfeed for two years. Say a father and mother get a divorce during this time the father is to continue to support the cost of living for the mother and child during this time, because breastfeeding is that important. Say the mother dies during this time she is considered a martyr. So how would me breastfeeding without a cover in a picture be so rude ? Growing up I never saw a mother in my community breastfeed her child. Maybe if I had I would have had a better experience with my first child. Maybe I wouldn’t have mapped out every bathroom at every mall to breastfeed in so I wouldn’t offend anyone. Yes that’s right I breastfed my first child in a bathroom stall because of the thought of me offending someone. Yet I have learned since then. By posting this picture I am not saying I am better than the formula feeding mom or the bottle feeding mother. I am not more of a woman than anyone else by posting this picture. I am hoping by posting this picture that I can play my part by normalizing breastfeeding in public, that I give that one mom out there the courage to not feed her child in the bathroom. Maybe turn on the light-bulb for that black mother who has never seen a woman breastfeed and knows nothing about it. By posting this picture I am saying the is nothing rude about feeding your child.