A Lifetime of Pearls

I met Rachel through our baby birth club board. Both of our little ones were born in the month of September. I wish I could say we started off as best buds but we didn’t we did clash. Yet since the hormones have calmed down I have begun to stalk her blog and read her books ‘Cut Film Cover to Vent: I’m Not Super Woman but I’m Decent Enough‘ ( Yes Rachel I am being a creeper). I have to admit she is pretty great. I have way too often have thoughts about how my boys are getting bigger and yes it makes me sad. Rachel here has said everything I have thought at least once.

“I’m going to be transitioning Wesley out of his infant stroller soon,” I told my mom the other day. She got that look on her face. The one I know well.

“It’s just going by too fast.” She said.

And I do agree. I know so many of us, mothers, who just dread the passing of time and phases.

The truth is, I just had my 2nd and final child. So I will be going through the “last” of so many things and I am reminding myself to savor it all.

And as my youngest son transitions out of infant things, I have my moments of sadness. There are, after all, so many things to love about infants. I’ll never forget the first few days of meeting the life that grew inside of you for 9 months, counting fingers and toes and figuring out whom they look like.

I love how they can have a full meal and look like tiny drunk humans while being burped. I especially love how perfectly they fit cradled in your arms as you dream about their life of possibilities and pray for their future happiness.

I have to admit, I already miss some of those things.

One of my favorite songs to describe this process is from the Musical version of the movie, Big.

I know, take a minute. Yes there is a musical version of Big and YES, it has a poignant song about children growing up. Here are some of the lyrics.

Two months old, he looks up at you
How his smile melts your heart
You want to say, “Stop, time”
Don’t move on
Even as you watch that look is gone
Then he’s two, such a little man
So alive and so smart
Again you say, “Stop, time”
Stay just this way
But the future comes and he can’t stay
Nobody warns you of this parent’s paradox
You want your kid to change and grow
But when he does, another child you’ve just begun to know
Leaves forever

I know…I know…I’m a mean woman. I’m crying too if it makes you feel better.

Even as I tell you the few sad moments I have in watching my child grow, I simply refuse to waste too much of my time missing the past.

Because I love ALL the ages.

Infants are wonderful, but smiles of recognition are amazing too.

Little hands held up in the air for you to pick them up are also pretty special.

Having a little head lean down on your shoulder as you carry them around on your hip can make a heart swell.

Walking down the street holding the hand of a little guy who thinks he’s so big is also pretty amazing.

The fearlessness (sometimes coupled with the first ER visit) that makes you admire their daring adventurous spirit (even as you hand over that $200 copay).

Hearing “Mama”. Hearing “Dada”. Hearing “I love you”. Yep, I like that too. You can have, “Huh?” and “Awwww, mom.” though.

Teaching lessons (We don’t lick people).

Cultivating interests (I could take less Dora, I’m not gonna lie).

Cheering them on in school performances (even when you got there an hour early to sit on the front row and they won’t sing ANY of the songs).

Art Projects (so many art projects, where to put them all).

Sports teams (Even when other children won’t pass them the ball and you are holding yourself back from hurting someone under the age of five).

Holiday traditions that only get better the older they get (and incidentally, more expensive).

Motherhood is a pearl necklace.

Each pearl represents a moment in time so precious that you wear it proudly around your neck. But that necklace is an ongoing project and every pearl plays a  a vital and equal part in making that necklace not just beautiful but an equal part in making it a necklace in the first place.

So remember the next time you string a new pearl on that necklace and find within that process a moment of sadness that that moment is gone…there will be so many more pearls just as beautiful.

There will be, in fact, a lifetime of them.

Read more of Rachel Here!

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