This morning I was listening to a popular radio personality in the area. I don’t know why I continue to listen to this show seeing that they have banned me from every one of their Facebook pages (Don’t ask long story but it did result into a few non parent friends calling me asking why they had pictures of moms breastfeeding in their news feeds .. well why it was more than usual). Well anyway they had a segment called non parents what annoys you about parents. Why I was even up before 10 am puzzles me must have been the work of the lets piss you off gods who were thinking ” Iola wake up this is really going to tick you off!” Oh and yes it did.
Complaints I heard.
“Your child should not be at Walmart at 2 am in the morning!”
So what do you suggest? Do I just leave them at home? You know maybe I should, the cats and dog would be great baby sitters. Just tie a warm thing of breast milk to Bella our cat since she has more of the maternal instinct and Lyam will be set. Oh and explain to Cadden while I am gone to not decorate the walls or floors, hurt your brother, or burn the place down. I am guilty of bringing my kids out to shop at that time usually because it’s an emergency. Last time I sent my husband out at that time.. the local Rainbow thought he did naughty things at 2 am in the morning. Why else does a grown man walk in the store with pj’s on asking for Vaseline?
“When moms pull out their boob to breast feed in public or in front of her bf/husbands friends without covering up..I don’t wanna see your nipples…”
Really? are you kidding me this is still a complaint? Solution: either but a bag over your head or don’t look. pick one and enjoy. Oh and as a stranger why are you paying so much attention to other strangers to know who the mom is with?
“At the park, calm yourself! Your kid is not a genius because they can slide or run. I don’t want to hear your annoying obnoxious voice all the way across the park “OMG YOU ARE SOOOOOO FAST!” “I CAN’T BELIEVE HOW GOOD YOU ARE AT SLIDING! LIKE A SUPERHERO!!!” “YAY!!!” Shut up! I can tell you don’t spend much time with your kid or you’re mean to them at home. Stop trying to prove to the world that you’re the best parent ever, you look and sound stupid.”
Thank you! I accept this as permission to now ignore my kid and sit on my phone and play Candy crush. Wait why are you at the park but you have no kids? Creeper! It’s called praising your child. You know the thing you do when you aren’t sitting on the bench ignoring them. Oh and when I am screaming ” omg you are soo fast” It’s probably because my child just took off and is running away from the play ground for some greener grass… and I am jogging trying to make sure the child I am wearing does bounce out the carrier.
“Stay at home moms watch your child and stay off of Facebook.”
When I read this on the Radio stations Facebook page I wanted to reply so bad… but couldn’t because I am banned. Facebook has probably saved my life and my kids lives on many occasions. If I didn’t have FB I would probably be some wreck curled up into a ball somewhere. Look my friends are on Facebook. Some of them I have never met and they make me laugh so I don’t become some nut job. What do I do when my oldest draws on the floor with a magic marker? I turn to fb to vent so I don’t hang him by his ankles. What do I do when my husband acts like a complete idiot? Facebook! So I don’t end up poisoning him at his next dinner. Moms need Facebook to stay sane.
“When they use those child leashes. Really?”
I have a leash for my child… I have yet to use it seeing my luck some over-confident ish would come up and tell me how wrong I am. Leashes when used right save kids lives. When You have three kids and they are running all over the place believe me you either wear two of them or you use a leash.
oh and my favorite because I do it all the time….
“Stop talking about your breast milk. I don’t want to know about the color, taste or how its feeding your child”
I first laughed, then I got really silent because the person sounded like a friend of mine on the radio. I am pretty sure it was a friend of mine and to that friend. I will talk about my milk when ever the heck I want to. I will talk about it during dinner, while texting you, to strangers on the street. Its milk
Even though these rants did get under my skin… the best revenge for these people … is waiting till they have kids. Now off to go back to bed to snuggle with my snuggle bugs.