The Wet nurse I am not – Bellies, Boobs, and Brunch

It has been made clear time and time again that for some reason I attract the crazies. Maybe its Karma from another past life I don’t know but ish that I really can’t make up usually happens to me.

I recently attended a Bellies, Boobs and Brunch event a few weekends ago. It was held at a local moms house and it went great. My husband who usually ask five billion questions before I go somewhere really didn’t understand why women would get together and pay for breastfeeding photos. I tried to explain it as he drove me over to the site ( I have refused to drive since the last time I was driving a car we somehow ended up getting hit from behind. Oh and have a screaming child in the car doesn’t help either) he failed to understand.

Well the event went well and I received my photos within the next week.

I fell in love with them. Why did no one tell me about these events when I was nursing my oldest!!!

Well going through these photos I noticed one of me nursing L showed off his Gdiaper and shirt. If you know me you know I love Gdiapers as in I would run into a burning house to save my diapers ( well after the kids are out). So I of course shared this photo with Gdiapers via twitter.

They asked to use it…… and of course I said “YES!”

Now this is when the crazies come out…

I of course was very excited… I had friends who were happy for me… then of course someone climbs out from under their rock and comments:

“Is it adopted, there is a significant difference in color. Are you a wet nurse?? Even if daddy was light, the child wouldn’t be as light……all women can produce milk even if they haven’t recently been pregnant. Wet nurse. Good for you.”

I still am very speechless about this comment.

Yet just to point out my child is not an “it” he is a human being.

Now about L’s color

I know my son is not the same color as me. I know his hair is light brown and blonde. I know he is a spitting image of his father.

Yet I am A-OK with all of this.

No where in the rule book does it say ” The baby the mom nurses has to match exactly skin wise in order for her to be the biological mom”

No L is not Adopted Nor am I the wet-nurse.

There were so many things wrong with that statement I am just beginning to wrap my brain around it all.


Even if I was the wet-nurse so what why not celebrate it? Yet who looks at a breastfeeding photo and instead of celebrating it, sums up mom must be the wet-nurse because the skin colors don’t line up?

Yet I have notice when one crazy person says something online others follow.

It was stated that L was to old to breastfeed…. *eye roll* because he could lift my shirt…

I won’t even get into that at the moment. Though thank you to the friends and moms who spoke up.

Yet what I will do is focus my energy into showing off my pictures from that weekend.

Every Mom needs to have pictures like this done… if you don’t have an event near you PLAN ONE!!!

Also Big Thank You to Alison here is more of her work on her site here

Breastfeeeding in Color

So I follow more than a handful of breastfeeding pages and I have to say my favorite thing about following them are the breastfeeding photos.

Yet there has been something that has been eating at me…..

The lack of diversity in these photos.

Now don’t get me wrong… I love all breastfeeding photos no matter what color the mother may be.

Yet I want more diversity.

By diversity I don’t mean more photos like this…

Himba mother breast-feeding her infant . Kaokoveld .  Namibia .

Though I do believe this other is beautiful and she is doing an awesome job breastfeeding …. I have to say I don’t look like this when breastfeeding. It was also this photo that put me over the edge when someone made the comment:

“It’s nice to see photos of black women breastfeeding.”

I may have screamed ” are you kidding me!” at my computer screen then went on ranting on  Facebook about how it would be nice to see a mom breastfeeding who looked like me NOT like she just stepped off the cover of National Geographic.

So I went on a mission to find photos of women of color breastfeeding. I advertised my project on 50 plus pages asking moms of color to send me their photos. After a week of advertising I have received 10 photos in my inbox. So I am reaching out from here. MOMS OF COLOR PLEASE SEND ME YOUR PHOTOS!!!!!

You may ask yourself “what does this woman plan on doing with my photos?”

I plan on creating a photo gallery, I plan on sharing them on my blog Facebook page, I plan on creating a billboard…. ok ok ok scratch the last one, but I want these photos to circulate like crazy. I want younger girls of color to see them for them who may not be exposed to breastfeeding to see women who look like them feeding their babies naturally. I want breastfeeding to not be seen a thing that only “white stay at home moms do” …. but that EVERY MOTHER CAN DO.

Thank you to Lashana J nursing her little one
Thank you to Lashana J nursing her little one

So have a photo? Send it to me at babywearingapmama@gmail.com along with your name and anything else you would like to say.

Look for this gallery to launch during International Breastfeeding Week (Aug 1st-7th).

Photo thank you to my friend Tigra L..... Much love mama!
Photo thank you to my friend Tigra L….. Much love mama!

Its Not just some Slavery- Civil War Shit

life-and-style-alicia

I found this photo floating around my Facebook news feed. Why does it seem like when all  is going well in the breast-feeding word that something happens that results in ten steps being taken back?

There is nothing new about breast milk sharing at all… IT IS NOT JUST SOME SLAVERY- CIVIL WAR SHIT.

I have shared milk.

Yet there was a fact mentioned in the caption that one can not argue with the fact that yes slaves use to be wet nurses. Yet obviously the one who wrote that caption didn’t do their research or use common sense.

Seeing that if you were a slave you had no choice to breastfeed the child of the ones who deemed you as nothing more but property to be sold and traded when they saw fit.

Seeing that slave had to cut her own child’s breastfeeding relationship to go feed another.

Yet I want to believe that as that slave nursed the child of her owners she resented just the owners not the child. That she gave that child an abundance of love. Hoping he would remember it when he was older.

Oh and did I mention that if she wasn’t a wet nurse that slave was still made to stop breastfeeding her own child, so she could then give birth to another piece of property?

But you know….

That must be how milk sharing is now! (eye roll)

Last I checked moms today aren’t slaves.

They share milk because they want to.

They aren’t made to sacrifice their own breastfeeding relationship to feed another child.

I am pretty sure there are no harsh feelings when they hand that milk over to a mother or father who really need it

Yes its 2013

You would think by now sharing your milk would be widely accepted.

Hmm maybe that thinking is what is affecting the African American breastfeeding rates… seeing I have heard myself “oh why would you breastfeed you are not a slave anymore”! Yet that’s a conversation for another time.

Though you had no problem plastering it in a magazine

My question to you Life and Style what were YOU thinking when you let that caption go to print?

Now while you think of a politically correct BS answer to give everyone who has emailed you

Please excuse me as I go nurse my son and pump at the same time.

My Image is Not For Sale

These are not my words but the words of  another blogger at walkerwrackspurt. 

Though I couldn’t agree any more

Righting Red

I am a modern Lakota winyan.

No accent.

No paint.

No feathers.

I’m like no Indian you’ve ever seen.

Because I am not a mascot. Or a blockbuster archetype.

Someone dressed like a gothic taxidermist

Is trying to sell me my own culture.

“Your values and beliefs are for sale!” he proclaims in redface.

“So is your land. I’ll buy it for you [if you see my movie].”

Good trade?

Spending $5 million

On land worth $14,000

To sell a movie made for $250 million.

I’m no good at math.

But that seems

Excessive. Over the top. Not enough.

And I feel funny 😐

#greatwhitesaviorcomplex

The worst part?

Our people are so starved for attention,

That we’ll take it in whatever form it comes in.

When Racism knocks on your door,

It’ll be riding a pinto, wearing a bird, and wrapped in a Comanche flag.

But that’s…

View original post 1,041 more words

Embarrassed – Interview with Hollie McNish

Embarrassed || Spoken Word by Hollie McNish

I shared this spoken word poem a few days ago and my feelings have not changed. I still think HELL YES every time I watch (maybe 15 times no OK maybe more like 20).  I can relate… as I fed my oldest in many bathrooms and corners. To the point when I couldn’t find a place to hide I wouldn’t nurse at all I resorted to a bottle. Yet with my second according to the words of many friends ” we have seen it all”

That’s why when I listened to this poem I had to talk to her. Ideally I would have loved to sit face to face and maybe given her a hug or two, or maybe even three. I would have probably listened to her and had been so focus on her and her words Hollie may have felt was just a tad bit creepy. Yet sadly she is located across the pond. So had to settle for writing back and forth. Which even to her answers I would screamed in my head “HECK YES!”. Some of those screams may have exited my mouth.

Now on to the interview… Thank you again Hollie!

Who are you and what do you do?

My name’s Hollie and I’m a person, a woman, a mum, a girlfriend, a daughter! I write a lot of poetry and read it out for my job now. I also look after my daughter, tour and don’t sleep much anymore.

Where are you from?

From Reading, South of England, with a Glaswegian family, mum and dad both Scottish.

What do you do for fun when you are not writing?

I play with my daughter, go to the park, make soil castles, trampoline, football, read, see friends, go dancing.

When did you start doing spoken word?

When I was about 24 – I wrote poems since I was little and had about 300 in various books but didn’t want to share them with anyone until my boyfriend forced me!

What Inspired you to write Embarrassed?

Sitting on a toilet feeding my daughter staring at the toilet door which had a poster for a local hiphop night with a girl in a gold bikini the size of a marble. All good, but made me think, fuck this, why the hell am I sitting in here. It stinks and I feel like shit for something I know is a good thing to do.

Do you NIP( Nurse in Public) now? Why were you nursing in the bathroom, was there an incident that caused you to feel like you had to? (question credit going to Mandy)

From insecurity, embarrassment, because I had a few comments made about staying at home. I did a gig – on the poetry judging panel for a young persons competition and had to feed my daughter in the break – she was 2 months old and it was my first gig after birth. I was in a back room, away from the audience but with 3 other male poets, also judging, in the same room, on the other side. After I fed her, one of them said “I think it was too early for you to do this – and he was the guy that bloody booked me for the gig cos they’d once again ‘forgotten to get a female judge!!!”.

I am confident about some things, but not about parenting so much. When I was on my own I used to go hide – when I was with my partner, mum etc it was completely different. I fed my daughter partially till she was 2, I don’t anymore cos she prefers watermelon and apples now!! And yes, I did feed her in public a lot – cafes, restaurants, at festivals – though never completely comfortably, which annoys me still.

What words do you have for nursing moms who may feel uncomfortable nursing in public due to what others may think?

If you want privacy because you just do want privacy, don’t feel bad. But remember that all your insecurities are only their since companies came along. And most people who look at you are not looking in a bad way, they’re just looking, glancing, whatever. They’re probably thinking good things. I think I too often assumed people were looking in a bad way when they weren’t. The more you do it, the more other people will do it too.

Photo credit Kim Leng Hills Photography
Photo credit Kim Leng Hills Photography

Hollie You have any moms including myself who want to tell you THANK YOU!

Check out more of Hollie HERE

I am no Food Blogger

So I am very envious of food bloggers even more  so of mommy food bloggers. Every picture they take is perfect. You don’t spot kids in sinks or eating the ingredients in those pictures. So today I woke up in the mindset of I am going to work on my first food blog post. The Drink : Strawberry Lemonade.

Ingredients

1 Lemon cut up

2 Cups strawberries

1/2 cup honey or sugar  (we used honey)

4 cups water.

There are no bananas in the recipe I don’t know why they ended up in this picture

Step one

Throw all the strawberries, lemons and 2 cups water in a blender and blend until they are pureed.

My two year old loves this step.

Step 2

Add the Honey or sugar

then blend some more

Then this is the point my nine month old decided he was a bit ticked off I was making something so he ended up in the sink.

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Now back to the Lemonade

So after all the blending pour that mixture into a pitch add the rest of the water and mix

Then let your toddler taste it

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So there its done taste add more honey or sugar if you want. This is wear you then pour it in a glass put some lemons on it and take a pretty picture

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Now this is when I actually tasted my drink…. and my common sense then returned to me.

At some point you are suppose to strain the purée mixture…………………..

So I ended up with a mouth full of sweet but chewy lemonade.

So after realizing this I put the top on the pitcher where it will wait for my thirsty husband when he comes home from work.  In which I will ask him after he taste it how is it… hopefully he is nice and realizes my efforts and says ” Hun I like it”

Until then I will stick to the natural foods stores for buying my favorite drink. Along with drool over the pictures from this blog http://laylita.com/recipes/2012/06/08/strawberry-lemonade/