It’s not You, it’s Me

Have you ever had a moment in which you think “What the F did I just read”?

Well I have had two of those moments this week enough for me to ditch many of the AP groups I was part of, one of these moments included dog food. Yes I said it dog food.

Earlier this week we had left overs of roast beef and mashed potatoes (  Homemade!!!!). The kids decided that they did not want to take part in dinner. Which was fine less work for me. No extra dishes to clean, no mashed potatoes to scrape of the walls, and no yelling at the dogs to stop begging.

What did they want to eat instead?

Dog food right from the dishes.

Fine go ahead. I will pick my battles and in 90 degree heat with a dew point of 78, I was not going to argue with why one should eat hot roast beef and mashed potatoes. In fact If I did not have taste buds and had not grown up learning dog food is not cool to eat. I may have been on the floor eating with them.

Well I decided this would be fun to share in one of the attachment parenting groups. I mean it WAS funny after all.

Well according to the APP ( Attachment Parenting Police). No. This was not funny and I the parent needed a talk in what was nutritional food for my children.

APP #1- “You really shouldn’t let your kids eat dog food. It isn’t good for them”

APP# 2- If you are looking for great snack ideas kale chips are great”

APP# 3- ” You could be potentially be poisoning your child. Many dog foods are being recalled from China. I second the kale chips my 11 month old loves them.”


I have had kale chips.. they taste like sh*T. Yes I said it! I hate kale chips, I would rather lick my child’s poopy diaper! My kids  hate kale, my dogs even hate kale, and they have eaten poopy diapers!

*calming down*

Let me ask

Whatever happened to just sharing a funny parenting moment? When did we become so caught up in out doing one another that we have to criticize funny moments?

Yet this isn’t the first time I have seen this in AP groups. The attachment parenting police are everywhere. I have also notice they also tend to be the crunchiness police. Not saying all AP parents are crunchy, but I have notice they go hand in hand.

I have seen posts about yeast infections go from what to do, to the original poster having shoved coconut oil up her gopher hole (vagina), and when that didn’t work she is advised to shove garlic up the vagina.


*calming down*

What I am trying to say is, I have had enough. I have come to realize I can stand by AP tendencies without subjecting myself to judgement and cray cray people. To my attachment parenting groups I am sorry but it’s not you it’s me ( OK well actually it is you, but I am trying to be nice).

Why be part of groups that the most active members are people trying to out do each other, on who is more attached to their child. Yet in all reality we are all attached to out kids no matter what your parenting style is.

So yes, I left many of the AP groups I was part of due to dog food. Though you probably notice I said I had two incidences this week.

The second incident was the following question:

“Is anyone familiar with nonviolent communication?”

I apparently to the original poster forgot to read her mind and what she really meant by this question. So the way I responded ” you mean not be violent when speaking” and “this was just mind-blowing” were unacceptable answers. Soo unacceptable that the woman called me the “see you next week” word. Which with her use of the word, I may have mentioned, I could see why she was seeking someone with the experience.

Anyways, I had to leave before I became the woman feeding her kids kale, and walking around with garlic shoved up my gopher hole ( vagina) all so that I could brag about it online. I had to leave for my sanity. I am not speaking for all AP groups or parents. Yet only from my experience.

Oh and by the way… My dog food is organic, dairy, gluten-free and not made in China. So HA!



10 thoughts on “It’s not You, it’s Me

  1. Urgh, I feel the same way. I feel a lot of my tendencies are attachment parenting and crunch, but as I’ve said I refuse to fit in a box and meet specific criteria in order to be a great parent to my child. Sometimes, common sense needs to take over their sanctimonious efforts to out-do one another. Remember, they sit behind a screen, and are more than likely trying to place a facade because after all—they’re behind a screen. Those kale chips could easily be lays potato chips. The fact that some people aren’t willing to take an integrative approach to their health and their child’s (using both naturopathic in conjunction with preventative medical care) is astounding to me. Sounds like you did the right thing.

    I left a lot of groups because I found I spent too much time on the internet.

  2. Sorry. I agree with you on a lot of this. Any group that is sort of off-the-beat new ideas in a fadish cool way has these tendencies. Then you add the bored sahm element and you’ve got 50 years of fodder for a telenovela.

    I can’t get my twins to quit eating cat food.

  3. Haha, I totally ate dog food as a little kid — the main rule was that I had to brush my teeth right afterward. But you know, because my parents didn’t make a big deal over it, I think it only happened once or twice, and I got bored and moved on. Keep on keeping on, mama — don’t let the negativity get you down. And I’m with you; there are just some places garlic shouldn’t go. Natural is good, but I think in modern society, we forget that there was actually a need at some point that led to the discovery of “modern” medicines. P.S. I’m part a moms group on Facebook that is about as low-drama as a group of hundreds of women can be; it’s diverse and represents pretty much all parenting styles, but I feel like I’ve gotten great support from them. If you’re interested, let me know, and we can connect on FB. And for the record, when I posted a pic of G chewing on a dog toy, the response was positive 🙂

  4. I’ve eaten dog food as a child, and I’ve had kale chips as an adult. I still prefer the dog food.

    I’ll never forget the time I caught my cat bringing mouthfuls of dry cat food to my then-8-month-old and the kid giggling as he ate it, piece by piece.

  5. Hehe. Maybe I’ll buy cat food for my kids to snack on to (we have a cat). They seem to prefer the stuff they shouldn’t be eating anyway. What brand do you recommend?? 🙂

  6. I have 4 kids my 2nd baby use to eat dog food all the time lol! And drink the dogs water. I didn’t worry about it she eventually grow out Of the dog food eating stage. As for the rest I totally agree with you eveyone does seem to be trying to out do each other.

  7. Okay, I am so sorry that this even happened to you. My jaw literally dropped when she called you C U next week word. UNACCEPTABLE! That pisses me off.

    I no longer identify with any only groups anymore mainly because I hate Facebook and because of this. So many haughty-taughty women who are always trying to do the crunchiest thing possible. I’m crunchy but I don’t gotta outdo the next crunchy, naw what I’m sayin’? Anyway, I do have an awesome connection with my Instagram mamas. We do not judge and we’d be laughing our asses off right along with ya! Come find me: @LaotianMama.


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