Let It Go

I never really got into the whole Frozen crazy for the following reasons:

1. Complaints from other parents whose kids got sucked in and the million times they had watch it.

2. The boys already speak ninja turtle ( they declared this) so don’t need to go adding another language in and confuse them.

3. Any movie that has you publicly declaring that you want to kill the characters cannot be possibly ok for my well being. Click below if you have no idea what I am talking about.

Kill Elsa

So never really paid attention to the anthem of this movie… Well until two awesome kiddos Vi, and Alanya introduced me to it…. In which we watched it twice … And sang with it twice, and danced with it twice ….. Though it really wasn’t that bad…

The “Let it Go” song though does have a pretty good meaning behind it when you can listen to it without a child in the forefront singing along.

Letting it go is what I have had to learn the past few weeks with adding a third boy in the mix. Things have been crazy and chaotic. Though apparently on the outside I must not be showing it, seeing the past two Sundays at church a few people have commented on how I am well put together and so calm lugging three boys along. Let’s make this clear now…

I AM NOT

In fact the moments that this has been said, the boys are usually on the church floor fighting in a corner somewhere, or on their worse days in the middle of the floor with a sea of members walking around them commenting on how cute they are.

Them being “cute” is how they have survived this far… And even then it’s not enough pay.

Even Eli who has only been here for 6 weeks, has coughed and choked upon hearing the compliments. Granted he was nursing and may have swallowed wrong… But who cares about the details?

I am far from having things together…

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See that there… That’s not having it together that’s called “when I thought my three year old was sleeping, calls me to come look at what he did and having no words upon seeing this hell of a mess other than the many swear words that went through my head along with thinking spankings really aren’t that bad…”

Breath…..breath…..

I did eventually let that go. In fact I have found going for two to three even more so with boys, I have to let things go.

From the burps, weird noises, wrestling in public places, farts and excitement over poop… Just letting it all go.

The biggest test this week… Eli going to a sitter.

Six weeks have past since this child has exited me.. and now working he will have to be with a sitter for a few hours during the week.

Now granted I am blessed to not have to let him go full time… But his first day yesterday with my crying you would have thought so.

Eli’s day:

Headed out the car to head to sitters- I cried

Car ride to sitters – I cried, and explained to him I love him… As he slept and had no idea what the fuss was about

Get to the sitter- I didn’t cry… But explained everything in his back pack as if for some reason she couldn’t figure out what extra outfits, diapers and paci’s were. She thank god was patient.

Drive to work: yup you guessed it I cried more.

Yet guess what:

He survived, I survived

So I may have been a bit dramatic.

You would think as him being the third I would be fine, yet I wasn’t. Days leading up to his first day I had conversations with friends about the disservice, I thought I was doing to him. That I had stayed home with Cadden and Lyam for three years and some how I felt like I wasn’t good enough as a mom leaving him with someone else.

Yet the great thing about friends… They are there to reassure you, even when you doubt yourself.

So from here on out … No more crying on the way to the sitter.

Letting it go….

Though I can’t let it all go in the end … Because I still need a reason for wine in the evening

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