My Dear Daughter

So much has happened in the last year. Life and Death … fun and not so fun times, even stolen dining room tables. Over the next week I will be spending the time catching everyone up on the craziness . Lets first start with the very good … The official announcement of Willow!

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Willow Olivia Naomi  6 pounds 1 ounce and pure badassness

I GOT MY GIRL!!!

Lets also pretend that she is brand new and NOT four months old.

“Nate” as I call her is just pure bliss, she has been the calm in the storm. We all know babies can calm the stormiest of storms. I am just over the moon with her. The boys are too!

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They fight over her

I also have to throw in all the Mom and me outfits

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With this excitement has come some worries:

HOW DO I RAISE A GIRL!! 

Boys I am use too … and society has shaped boys to know

  • You can be bossy   Assertive
  • Aggressive, arrogant   I mean be a leader
  • You can be anything you want to be …. as long as you have children, take care of them, keep a clean home, and be perfect

Everything stroked out is what society will expect from willow or describe her as, if things do not change.

I cannot change society. I can raise her knowing she is enough.

 

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My mom made the quilt used as a back ground … by hand

My Dear Daughter,

 Remember always you come from a legacy of women. The very quilt you lay on was made by the hands of your great – grandmother. A strong woman. One who raised 12 children in the Deep South during Jim Crow days in a cabin on the farm. A praying woman a loving woman. One who’s mother before her picked cotton. My mother your grandmother was strong, kind, and beautiful – inside and out. She was also a praying women. 6 am every morning. A women who grew up during Jim Crow , participated in the civil rights movement and wore an Afro no one could match.

 

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Your Grandmother

You my daughter are part of a legacy, and don’t let anyone tell you other wise.

 

My now youngest my only daughter. My love you are a queen and nothing less. You are surrounded by so much love close and far. You caught by your fathers hands. My sweet girl stay sweet but also strong.

 

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Wrap by Attachedmommies

Babies Calm the Stormiest of Storms

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Don’t Pay to Play

When Cadden was born.. I had this fantasy of doing mommy and me classes with him… that I would be that perfect mom. We would do mommy and me yoga, mommy and me music, mommy and me wine …. what ever came up we would do, and we did. Well we didn’t do mommy and me wine because there is no such thing yet ( great business opportunity).

We did it all.. I for one time was the “perfect” mom.

Lyam then  was born … and again we just added him into the mix. We did less classes but still it worked out.

Then I was pregnant with Eli.

The last class we did then was a yoga class… it wasn’t a mommy and me class it was donation based. The class went somewhat like this:

Teacher: “Lets all get into downward dog pose.”

Cadden: ( who gets in pose) “Mommy I just farted”

Lyam: ( looking around helplessly) “mommy where’s akila?” ( then bending over to look in my face, as if I would answer his question faster if he asked face level)

Me: ( breathe, breath this will be over soon right?)

………

Teacher: child pose, breath in and let go of distractions.

Cadden: ( does pose) “mommy I farted again”

Lyam: ( Climbs on top of me )

Me: ( for the love of god, how can one let go of their stress if it’s on top of you? My belly is not liking this)

……………

End of class

Teacher: “Now lets lay on our backs and relax”

Cadden: ( gets in my face to have a conversation)

Lyam: ( gets in my face to repeat every damn word cadden is saying)

Me: (get me the hell out of here.)

Lets say after that hour class … we never did another class again…

until the other day.

Now background context… I went in for a weight check for Eli… ( the only mommy and me activity) and saw the poster for baby music classes 9 bucks… ok cool. I asked the woman there if all my kids could come… she said yes. Now I was some how thinking this was a drop off music class that I would be able to drop off all the crumb grabbers and leave for an hour.

I was in heaven just thinking about it.

Class day comes. We arrive late.. get directed to the class room I open door and there are all these moms with their babies.

I panic.

Now the teacher must have realized I was panicking she welcomes me in and asks me to join my kids on the floor.

SHE ASKED ME TO JOIN MY KIDS.

I really didn’t want to join them.. I wanted to leave.. I wanted freedom.

Yet I listened and joined my kids on the floor.

She began to sing… and hand the boys bells and birds.

(what do birds have to do with music?)

Cadden takes the bells .. you can tell my mommy and me classes with him paid off.. he joins right in singing about birds and horses and what ever the heck other animals.

Lyam well he is hesitant. The teacher notices and asks him to help sing.. his answer “No” in fact he said no to everything she asked of him. (that’s my boy)

Eli.. well he looked .. then his bottom lip quivered and he cried. After a quick nursing session he looked at everyone in the class like what am I doing here.

Me: ” hello, hello hello, Eli, eli , o ….” ( wait why I am i singing this? Why are we adding O’s to everyone’s name? why is she pulling out a parachute? Why am I still here?)

Looking around at the moms in this class they all look fresh, just the one child who is not yet running, climbing out the roof of cars, fighting. like no worries in the world.

I on the other hand had to proactively ask the teacher to give the boys their own bells or world war three would unfold in front of our eyes.

I sat in that class thinking “I just gave this business money to play with my kids…. I seriously just paid to play with them”.

 

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 Lesson learned: next time give the kids pots and pans and sit with a glass of wine … at home.

 

Oh and if you do you know of a mommy and me wine class …. Let me know.